X - Japan

This is my most favorite band. Its music and appearances marked an new era in the world of Rock music.

There are tons of web pages introducing this magnificant band. This web page is not another introduction pages of X-Japan, but a page that is about my thoughts to one of the core members, Yoshiki.

From the lyrics and music of X-Japan, we can see something about this talented drummer and composer.

PS : All of the analysis are only the thoughts of mine, and there is no intention to hurt or mock someone. I just want to share what I think to all who love X-Japan's music. Please spread this message until Yoshiki can read this, thanks...

Yoshiki

Yoshiki, a man wants to be protected.......

I do not know what is the past of him, but his production and his image may reveal something about him.

His appearance always impressed other people; his make-up and dressed like a female model cat - walking on the stage. This can reveal two possible things. One, this was his image and he wanted to impress others. Second, he wanted to feel something that he wanted to.

We cannot see him dressing like that when he was not on the stage, but I found that although he dressed like a real man when we was in leisure, he seldom looked directly into the camera. Was he hiding something ?

Lyrics revealed something about this genius

When you heard the songs of X-Japan, especially these titles : Art of Life, Tears, Forever Love, Endless Rain and Last Song. All of these titles are in a sad mood. The lyrics surrounded some images like pain, bleeding heart, someone was went away from him and he cannot do something to stop this.

Some people thought that he was desrcibing the seperation of lovers. I do not know if Mr. Yoshiki also thought like that. What I can see was that he was not ( or not only ) describing the seperation of lovers, but someone left him. This "someone" was very very important to him in his life. Yoshiki blamed himself for his powerless, that he cannot stop this people left him. He was exhausted to think this people again, and he was hurt so deep that he lived in the shadow of this particular people.

I suspected that this people maybe his father. I do not know his history, and if his father is alive until now, I am deeply sorry that I make this assumption. It is, however, I really suspected that his father left him when he was young, or Yoshiki really needs him.

I used his longest song, Art of Life, as the example to explain my suggestion. ( PS : If someone knows his father is alive, please tell me ! So that I remove this site immediately ! Again, sorry Yoshiki for my suggestion ! However, I really want to share my ideas on your songs. )

Art of Life, he and his mother

My friend once played this song when I was in his house. My friend said that this song is so good to describe a lover with a broken heart and endless pain. However, what I felt was that Yoshiki was not talking any affairs about lovers, but himself.

"Dearest Rose, why do you live alone ? If you are sad, I will make you leave this life."

I suspected that he is talking his mother. Yoshiki may use Rose, an imaginery girl, and descriptions that described a sad lover, to deliver his feelings about his mother. If his father really left him and his mother, his mother surely was deeply sad.

He looked at his mother and� he really really � wanted to help her, but he cannot. He cannot feel what his mother was felt. He worried abuot his mother, but he can do nothing to change her sadness.

Yoshiki did not want to believe that his father has left him. So he wanted to live in dreams, a realm that his family was a healthy one. He knew that when he wake himself up, he will face the reality. In other words, he was in a great delimma in this life.

In the Art of Life, he shifted the characters in his family. Sometimes, he spoke from this father's angle. Sometimes, his mother, and sometimes, himself. I thought that the lyrics can be explained differently when you used different characters to think, that were according to the lyrics.

"I am making the wall inside my heart, I don't wanna let my emotions get out. It scares me to look at the world, don't wanna to find me lost in your eyes."

This maybe describing his mother or himself. He felt his mother was in deep pain. However, who will reveal her sadness in front of her own son ? Yoshiki's mother did not want to make Yoshiki sad, so she may pretend to be happy in front of him. Yoshiki, however, felt his mother was in deep pain. He may try to talk to his mother, but his mother surpressed all her emotions to him. Yoshiki wanted to share his mother's pain, but he cannot. He was sad too.

The last two phrases revealed what they felt. If I use his mother as the one who thought like the lyrics, she was unwilling to accept the truth about the death of her husband. If I use Yoshiki, then he may think that he wanted to talk to his mother and he wanted his mother to share the sadness to him. He did not want his mother hiding something from him, that similar to a stranger.

"Past and future prison my heart"

He was pain because of his memories and the uncertainty about the future. he did not want to lose anyoen he love. So memories and the unknown future drew him mad.

"Try to break all truth now, But I can't heal this broken heart, Cannot start to live, Cannot end my life, Keep on Crying."

This part revealed the helpnessless about him. He wanted to create a world that nothing has happened. He wanted his father lived with him and his mother. However, he cannot. The memories hindered his life. Whenever he enjoyed something, he feared of losing this. So, he was afraid of trying to live in a way that he wants. He cannot commit suicide also, as he did not want to leave his mother alone. With such a great frustration and depression, what he can do is crying.

"You make up imaginary enemies and are chased by them, You are trying to commit suicide, You are satisfied with your prologue......You are putting the scraps of life together and trying to make an asylum for yourself."

He tried to explain the situation that his father was facing. Somehow, I thought that he was blaming his father for doing something that was imaginary. He blamed his father for why he did that thing to hurt him and his mother so much. This part of the lyrics explained how his fahter commit suicide. Maybe, he really knew how his father died......Poor Yoshiki.

"Can't let my heart kill myself Still I'm feeling for A Rose is breathing love in my life."

This part was the final part of the song. What I thought was that he, although, hated his father for leaving him and the endless pain in his heart, he discovered his mother and other people cared about him. He could feel his mother was still near him and love him. He wanted to take care with his mother. So, he found one of the reasons to be happy for, and the meaning of his life.

I found that the mood of this song changed tremendously. At first, it was slow and quiet, as he was in pain and helpless. Then he felt anger and frustration about his life and his father. The part where the piano played "randomly" revealed that he was confused and deeply hurt by his memories. He wanted to release all his sad mood through the piano. Then, drums again. He started to find the meaning of life, and at last, he found that he was not alone.

Somehow, he wants to use this song to tell people how he is.

Other songs I have mentioned also revealed the similar feelings. Do not be fooled that he was focused at talking about lovers ! Except from talking about the relationship of lovers, what he wanted most was to reveal how sad he was !

Why he wants to be protected ?

I do not know if he has brothers or sisters. However, he may be the one who was responsible for taking care with his family. No matter it is true or not, he was in a great pressure that he was the pillar in the family. He needed to protect and shelter his mother and perhaps, brothers and sisters. So, he lost lots of things and relationships in younger life, like secondary school. He was the man without his father's support, when there was something critical happens. As a result, he wanted to be protected by others.

He was a male, and male was the pillars of the family in Japanese culture. Because of the social norm, he cannot reveal his deepest desire. So, he revealed this desire in this dressings and make-up when he was on the stage. He wanted to be protected and cared by the others.

To sum up, Yoshiki was lived under a sad memories. I thought that he is far better now, and I hope that he can be more happy than before.

May God bless this genius, Yoshiki.

PS : If you want me to share more about him, please e-mail me ! Or if you want to share your ideas to me, please also e-mail me ! If Yoshiki read this, PLEASE E-MAIL ME to clarify if I am right or not !

Please spread this message until Yoshiki can read this, thanks...

Yours,

Yoshikazu Tanaka